"Can Shalla be of help?" No, no, just stay a-away f-from me," she stammered, holding on to the post to keep from falling. The smell of mint again wafted through her nostrils, ringing a familiar bell of another time that her fading mind struggled to recall. She could feel her strength slowly leaving her body and she knew if she were ever going to make it to the door she had better move now.Shalla watched the girl lurch toward him. Her eyes rolled uncontrollably in her head and her legs wavered as though supporting a body ten times her size. He did not move from her path and as she tried to pass him, reached out with his arm and held her back. She struggled weakly for a moment and then all resistance ceased. Shalla guided her backwards to the bed and pushed her limp body back on it where she lay, arms and legs askew, looking glassy-eyed straight up at the ceiling. Her dress had snaked up over the tops of her nylon stockings, showing the white firm flesh of her full thighs. The white. I can't seem to stop it happening. The weird thing is that, mentally I don't exactly feel like I should be crying. Logically, I know I'm fine. I just can't stop it. And then I'm laughing. And crying. Quietly. No, I don't know why I'm laughing, either. I just ride it out. I decide if I can't control my own emotions then I'm just going to mentally sit back and let it happen. Now I notice my pants are actually digging into my sides a bit - definitely tighter than I thought they were. It's making it harder for me to catch my breath. I'd do something about it if I could stop crying. And by degrees, I calm down. Slowly. From quiet gulps of air to hiccups to sniffling and little bits of fragmented laughter. My stomach is in knots and my head is pounding. Toilet paper doesn't make good for good tissue paper but it's better than nothing and I go through half of a roll cleaning off all the snot and tears. My face hurts. From all the crying. Just aches from my jaw to the sides of my face and.
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